Improve Your Relationship With Fear
To Improve All Your Relationships
Why would you want to improve your relationship with fear? Because, as you will soon see, it leads to the momentous discovery that you really have nothing to fear, delivering to you a peace that does not cease, permitting all of your relationships to flow more smoothly.
Notice how you relate with fear when it arises. This is really the first step toward improving your relationship with it. Instead of relating to fear as its puppet you are now relating to as its investigator. Instead of relating to it gullibly, as a trusted advisor, you are relating to it with some seasoned and reasoned skepticism and suspicion.
Here is what you will find when you make that shift.
You will see yourself entertaining a fearful thought of something unwanted happening to you in the future. It might be a job loss, the loss of a loved one, the loss of a respectful position in someone else’s eyes, even the loss of your own life.
Continue observing to see how you typically relate with fear. You might find yourself tensely thinking about what you can do to avoid that terrible possibility, or how you can best prepare for it, or who is really to blame for it.
From there you might feel compelled to yell at your kids, accuse your spouse of something, give a co-worker an ugly piece of your mind, or just become paralyzed by despair and withdraw from the world.
Just as a man in a thick fog cannot find his way home until the warmth of the sun makes things clear, as you see what is going on within you your way to freedom from fear, and from the conflicts that it generates, becomes clear.
Continue observing what is going on within you as you feel afraid and you will eventually see what is really at the bottom of it: you are seeing an idea of you being crushed by some imaginary foe. As long as you were not consciously examining your inner experience of fear, you had to automatically identify with that pathetic, frightened image of yourself and see and feel yourself defeated by something that is not even really happening right now.
But as you become more conscious by continuing to observe what goes on within you during a wave of fear, it will become clear that this weak, beaten image of yourself is nothing but a thought. It’s just an idea of you, a visualization flashing on the screen of your mind.
Continue looking in this inward direction and you will see further that you really are not this pathetic idea of you. You are the viewer of the idea. In that instant you will find your freedom to step out of that idea, no longer to live in it as if you are trapped in it; as if it is the real you.
From there, if you continue looking within, you will discern that your real self is essentially unaltered by and independent of any change in life-events. There is nothing you need or lack, nothing you cannot handle with ease and nothing that can shake your inner peace, wholeness, completion and contentment. You realize your True Self that essentially the power to be conscious in love and peace and strength; the power to overcome and get through anything and to remain utterly unscathed by any form of attack life might send your way. You ultimately come to understand to your great relief that life never really attacks you; it just confronts you with opportunities to discover and discard the false ideas of yourself that cause you to feel the threat of being under attack by a superior opponent. You experience the great fact that you are always ultimately perfectly supported by your very being.
The peace you think you must defeat your foes for is available to you the moment that you realize you have no foes to fear.
This realization dawns as you improve your relationship with fear by changing it from being the driven to being the driver. You become your own driver by deliberately looking at the fear when it arises, instead of letting the fear determine what you look at – meaning the worrisome thoughts in your head that keep your mind going around and around in dread.
Improve your relationship with fear and you improve all of your relationships, because as you lose your fear you lose your defensiveness as well as your need to lash out at others. You can get along well with everyone because you no longer see anyone as a threat. Why? Because you no longer identify yourself with an idea of one who is even capable of being defeated by anything life sends your way.
Inspire your sales force with fresh perspectives on emotions, attitudes, relationships and self-awareness with an inspiring speaker event, seminar, or small group in depth transformational coaching session.
Call me, Bob Lancer, at 770-364-9580 or email me to discuss your sales team building needs.